Rookie in Love Page 10

  After breakfast the boys head off to their activities for the day. Kyle and Jackson have known each other for a few years—apparently they have a couple of mutual friends and have had a few classes together—but their connection through Abby and me has helped to develop that friendship.

  Abby and I get in the car to head over to the nail salon. She’s trying to be strong but, honestly, this is the most feeble I’ve ever seen her. Her eyes are dark and puffy and she seems to have lost her spark. “Abby, is everything all right? Are you going to be okay if Kyle moves to Florida?”

  “‘Okay’ is actually the perfect word. I am okay and it will be okay. I don’t think I will ever be happy, and I know that my heart will never feel whole. Right now, my options are to move with him and uproot my entire life for a boyfriend, or stay here and start over. You know how family is. They won’t support me leaving everything for a boy, even if we’ve been together for a long time and I love him.”

  I do know how family is, and it’s because of that that I just nod and offer a small smile. “As of this morning, where are you at with those options?” I also know how quickly someone’s mind can bounce from one choice to another. Just when I think I’ve figured out what I am going to do, my mind reminds me of why I should make a different choice.

  “It might sound stupid, but I’m not choosing. I just can’t. I guess a decision will be made by default. If he wants it badly enough, he will choose the job and that should be information enough for me. If he wants me badly enough, we’ll make this choice together and find our happiness somewhere in between. Right now, he isn’t really talking about what I want, just trying to convince me that I could be happy anywhere.”

  “So, you’ll only be happy if you stay here? That’s kind of ironic—I would give anything to get away.”

  “Ah, but you forget that sometimes the choices are not so black and white. There are many places that I could be happy. Like that stupid saying, ‘home is where the heart is.’ I just need to know that I’m a partner in the decision. Sound familiar? And as for you, if you would only look beyond the story your family has written for you, you would find that your prince might not live in their small kingdom.” She smiles at me as I watch her driving.

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “Jackson isn’t staying here, Madeline. I haven’t been a very good friend to you because I am drowning in all of this relationship shit I have going on with Kyle. If I had been there for you, I would’ve made sure you knew what you were dealing with. Do you really think Jackson is going to stay here after graduation? He’s the star quarterback for a Division One college. Last I heard, he was rumored to be a possible first-round draft pick. He’s going to be gone. If you don’t get your head out of your ass, you’re not only going to end up married to Greg, bless his heart; you’re going to be thousands of miles away from the only man that I have ever seen make you happy.”

  “Abby, I can’t see my family taking the news that I want to choose Jackson lightly. Greg is already part of my family. Our breakup would make things hard and uncomfortable for everyone involved. Maybe I should have put an end to our relationship before it ever got this convoluted between our families and business ties. I feel guilty that I’m going to hurt him. Right now, I don’t feel brave enough to face that mess yet.”

  “People breakup all the time. Your family will just have to get past that.” Abby pulls into the parking lot and turns to face me. “Breaking up hurts the person who ends it too. Everyone will understand that. I don’t think anyone would assume it was an easy decision for you to hurt Greg, even if it takes them a while to realize it was the right one.”

  She leans in to hug me and I wrap my arms around her.

  “I love you, Abby. For what it’s worth, I hope Kyle figures things out. I don’t want to see you miss out on a lifetime of loving him because he can’t think outside the box.”

  She chuckles into my neck and lets me go. “What a mess we are! My knight in shining armor can’t figure out where to build the damn castle and yours doesn’t stand a chance against your family’s drawbridge. You know how much I love my family, but Kyle is my family, too. My family is playing a role in my heartbreak, but only because I would miss them. They don’t get to decide who I love, Madeline. If you’re choosing Jackson, your family will learn to accept it, or suffer the loss of the sister and the daughter they love. At the end of the day, when you lie down to sleep at night, whose arms do you want to be wrapped in?”

  I don’t need to answer because she already knows.

  My phone chimes with a message and I giggle when I read it.

  Jackson: Kyle and I have paid for your nails today. We also threw in a massage and had your lunch ordered in. It’s just a gift—don’t overthink it… but if you feel like you need to repay us, I’m sure he and I can think of a few things to make it even ;)

  Me: Thank you, Mr. Quarterback. You didn’t have to do that. I’m kinda liking you and Kyle as partners in crime.

  Jackson: I can’t wait to see you in the stands tonight. See you later, beautiful.

  Me: I’ll be there.

  The afternoon is wonderful. Abby and I catch up on what’s been happening over the past few weeks as we enjoy our spa treatments. We head back to the apartment to get ready for the game and manage to make it to the stadium before four thirty. We’re ushered into our seats, which give us an excellent view of the bench where the team sits. The air feels electric with excitement as the students cheer and clap to our school song.

  The announcer’s voice bellows through the stadium, heralding our team, and everyone stands as they emerge from a tunnel onto the field. I see Jackson and my heart swells in my chest. He looks for me in my seat and as our eyes meet, it hits me—I love him. I’ve known him for only two weeks and it makes no sense, but I love him. There isn’t one seed of doubt or one argument against, just the knowledge I can’t ever walk away from him without walking away from a piece of my soul. I smile at him, and his mouth guard makes it hard to see whether he is smiling back, but my heart knows he is. I know him and he knows me.

  The game is amazing. I can’t believe I almost missed out on hearing the cheering of the crowd and experiencing the way the band playing in the stadium ramps up the excitement. The whole time I’m there I’m praying Jackson doesn’t get hurt. By the time our team finally wins the game, my heart feels like it’s outside of my body and adrenaline is pumping through my veins. I want to run onto the field and wrap myself around him. Now that I know how deep I am in, I want to tell him. It doesn’t matter if he loves me back; I just want the chance to love him. Abby, Kyle, and I wait for the stands to clear out a bit before we make our way to our car. My phone buzzes in my purse.

  Jackson: I’ll meet you at your place. I’m not going out with the guys. I just want to be with you.

  Me: Thank God. I will see you soon.

  When we get to the apartment, Abby and Kyle pour themselves a glass of wine and shut themselves in her room. I’m pacing my room, trying to decide if Jackson will think I’m out of my mind if I tell him how I feel. It isn’t just the feeling of love that has me so worked up, it is the feeling of freedom. I’m going to choose Jackson. I’m going to wake up tomorrow knowing my family won’t approve, but I don’t care. I’m going to be happy and I’m going to be the person I am, not the person they think I should be. I hear a knock at the front door and I run to answer it.

  Jackson looks as impressive as always. His dark hair is wet from a shower and he’s wearing gym shorts with a tight T-shirt. His gym bag is strapped across his chest, messenger style, and hangs off his right hip. I jump into his arms and wrap my legs around him, planting kiss after kiss on his forehead. He steps inside and kicks the door shut behind us.

  Jackson’s arms are wrapped around me as he makes his way down the hall. I continue to shower his face with kisses and his laugh fills my heart as he tries to return whatever kiss he can. Once in my room, he closes the door behind him and fidgets with the lock. I sl
ide down his body and take a step back so he can take his bag off. He tosses it into the corner and then smiles at me and opens his arms wide, as if to request that I resume my previous position.

  Laughing, I jump back into his arms and he moves over to my bed, laying me down and then crawling up the bed so our heads rest on my pillow. This time things are different; he looks into my eyes longer and kisses me more gently and I can feel the peace that settles over us when we are together. It feels like home. He brushes his thumbs across my cheeks and stares into my eyes without saying anything. It’s the most intimate moment I’ve ever experienced and I can see he’s feeling it, too.

  Two weeks ago, I didn’t know this man and tonight I feel like I’ve never known anyone so well. I don’t know how it’s possible and I would never believe it if it didn’t happen to me. In the beginning when he touched me, I felt electricity, but now I feel warmth, as if every time he touches me my heart grows a size, heating up my blood and warming my soul.

  Jackson kisses me and it feels so familiar, as if his lips were created to kiss mine. He clasps my hands in his and slowly brings them up above my head. I wouldn’t have thought that our connection could grow any more intense but it’s building with each gentle move that he makes.

  We’ve not said a word to each other since I opened the door but it feels like we have said so much. He runs the tip of his nose across my cheek and brushes a kiss across my lips.

  “Jackson,” I whisper, and his eyes lock onto mine. “This is going to sound crazy since we’ve known each other for only two weeks, but I love you.” My face heats and my heart races in my chest as I wait for his response. Jackson chuckles, and then a smile stretches across his face and he kisses my lips before responding.

  “Maddy,” he whispers, “this is going to sound crazy, too, but I think I’ve been in love with you since that night on the roof.” It should sound crazy, but it doesn’t.

  It sounds like the most wonderful thing I have ever heard and I lift my face so our lips can meet again. The kiss is full of reverence and love.

  Jackson lets go of my hands and reaches down to touch my skin where it peeks out between my pants and my shirt. There’s usually an urgency between us but tonight is tender and unrushed. His hand sweeps up my side slowly, taking my shirt with it until I lift myself slightly and he removes it. I want to feel his skin against mine so I trail my hands up his sides and pull his shirt over his head. There’s a feeling of warmth and connection as our bare skin comes together, hard muscles against soft curves.

  Jackson’s hands explore my body, and I hold on to him tightly, running my fingers up and down his back. His mouth heats up my neck as he licks and sucks his way down to my chest and swiftly removes my bra, replacing its support with his hands and his warm mouth. I close my eyes against the overwhelming feelings that are crashing down on me.

  Reaching down, I begin to lower his shorts, and he pulls his head away to look into my eyes. “I want to feel you, Jackson. Nothing in between us.”

  He weighs his decision and finally he lifts his hips to allow me to remove his gym shorts. His boxers are still on and my jeans still cover me, but with each item removed, the intimacy of the moment multiplies and I feel as if we can’t possibly get any closer. Jackson shifts his weight so he’s lying to the side of me and runs his finger across my stomach from hip bone to hip bone. At first he watches his finger, sliding it slowly in a way that builds my desire, then he looks me straight in the eyes as he retraces its line back to my other hip. I nod when his finger stops at my button and watch his eyes as he begins to remove my pants.

  I’ve heard stories of sex being clumsy, rushed and awkward, but this seduction tonight is smooth and graceful. I lift my hips to help him and he pulls down my jeans and panties at the same time. I lie naked below him, both physically and emotionally, and his eyes take me in. I wait for his hands to touch me in the spots newly revealed but instead he places his hand on the side of my face and kisses me.

  There’s no question that I want to be with him in this way—no doubt in my mind he’s the right person to share this with. I graze my fingertips down his side and am encouraged as his muscles jump beneath my touch. When I reach the waistband of his boxers, I tuck my fingers underneath and begin to pull them down. Jackson’s hand finds mine and he stills it beneath his grip.

  “Maddy, I have never wanted anything as bad as I want this, but if you’re not ready I can wait.”

  I don’t answer him; I just watch him as I remove his boxers and run my palm along his bare skin. Jackson’s hand wraps around my head so his fingers are tangled in my hair and his thumb rests on my cheek. He pulls my mouth toward his and kisses me, stroking my cheek with his thumb. My hand is on his forearm now, clinging to him as he guides my face toward his. I grip his bicep with my other arm and sink into the feeling of being completely secure and protected in his arms.

  “I can’t remember the last time I was this nervous, rookie,” he says. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  “Jackson, I trust you.”

  He’s completely still, studying my face and watching for each emotion. “Then look at me the whole time, Maddy. No running. Just you and me.”

  I nod and smile to reassure him that this is what I want. He gets up from the bed and retrieves something from his gym bag and puts it on my bedside table. At the edge of the bed, he reaches his hand out for me and I take it. Jackson lifts me off the bed, then pulls down the comforter and climbs in, holding the covers open for me to join him.

  “And you were worried about your manners,” I say, and we both laugh before scooting closer together so our bodies are touching and one of his legs is between mine.

  Jackson lightly cups my face and then trails his hand down my body, stopping to feel each sensitive area until I’m aching with need. His hand slips between my legs and he ignites the skin on my thighs with his warm touch before reaching my center. He begins to make slow circles again with his hand, with just the right amount of pressure to make me blind with desire. I close my eyes for a second but Jackson whispers for me to look at him, and once again our eyes meet.

  “Maddy, this is going to hurt. I think if you trust me and we take our time, we can make it amazing for both of us.”

  I nod and hope he will continue to lead me in this. His eyes look over my shoulder to my bedside table and I turn my head to follow his line of vision. Jackson knows that I’ve started taking the pill, but he has placed a condom next to me and I’m grateful, knowing he is no virgin. I reach up and take the wrapper, opening it as Jackson continues to build my desire and pleasure.

  When I have the condom in my hand, I reach for him and begin to roll it on. I’ve heard I should be nervous, that this should be a clumsy experience but I can’t imagine Jackson would let that happen. When the condom is in place, Jackson runs a hand along himself to make sure it is on correctly, and then adjusts himself so he’s between my legs, his hand returning to my center. With the excitement of this moment, my orgasm begins to build, causing my body to throb with need and heat.

  “Tell me when you’re close, Maddy,” Jackson whispers and then looks into my eyes. It takes only a minute for that moment to arrive, like a bolt of electricity it surges through me.

  “Jackson…” I whisper as my body shudders under him.

  As the first wave rolls through me, Jackson pushes himself against my entrance and my body tightens around him. The feeling of stretching is new to me but not uncomfortable, and as he pushes further inside me, his movement increases the pleasure I’m feeling. With one last thrust he is completely inside me and I wince at the sharp pain that shoots through me.

  Jackson’s arms are around me and he hugs me tightly, kissing my cheek and my lips as we wait for the pain to pass. I almost close my eyes again but Jackson shakes his head before they shut completely, and I anchor to his eyes again and breathe steadily. I’m not sure how long we stay like this, but the pain is wearing off and Jackson begins to move in and out of me, not once
letting his eyes leave mine.

  I’ve never been more connected to anyone and the feeling swells inside my chest, causing a tear to fall down the side of my face toward my hair. Jackson’s thumb swipes it away and he kisses where it has traveled, whispering, “I love you.” His pace quickens and then his body tenses. When he finds his release, his lips meet mine again. I could never have asked for a better first time.

  As I fall asleep wrapped in his arms, my virginity isn’t the only thing given away tonight. I gave Jackson my heart, and he gave me his in return.

  Chapter Thirteen

  I’ve had no contact with my family for a while now and while the freedom feels absolutely amazing, it cannot go on this way forever. My heart soars every time I hear Jackson’s voice but I fear being with him is going to cause everyone pain and change relationships.

  It doesn’t surprise me that today is the day Ben decides our silence has stretched on long enough. After getting ready this morning, Jackson and I get into my car to head to lunch at our little café. Parking is easier in the small lot in my car. On the way, my phone rings through the speakers. I put a finger to my lips to tell Jackson to remain silent and then answer the call with my Bluetooth device. Ben wouldn’t give up if I declined the call, and I don’t want to risk a ticket. I roll my eyes when I hear Ben’s loud, commanding voice asking how I’m doing. Jackson notices and gives me a curious look so I mouth the words ‘big brother’ to him and he nods in understanding.

  “Ben, I’m busy. What do you want?” I ask, and Jackson turns his head to look out the window, giving me a little privacy.

  “Madeline, I’m sorry about lunch. I was really stressed and I hate to hear anything about you that makes me worry. I was a little spun up and the way I handled it was probably not the best.”

  “I need you to back off, Ben. I’m perfectly capable of making my own choices. I’m an adult, not a little girl anymore, and I wish you would respect that.” My frustration with him boils just under my skin. I want this call over quickly, but I need Jackson to understand what we are up against if we stay together.